Bombay Will Be My Hamelin

Remember that? Does that sound familiar? It should because if it didn't, it means you grew up under a rock in a very saffron part of the country. In fact, Ganesha is sorry to say that Bombay, formerly the only half-decent place in this filthy country is fast heading that way. Some might say and it would be tough to disagree that it is already that way. But fear not, there is reason for my existence. Tonight, I shall be the Piper and Bombay will be my Hamelin.

That is exactly what the tradition is about. My stupid brother and stupider mother had one opportunity and they buggered it up divinely. This was their chance to act like the heavenly, godly beings that the world claims them to be. But instead we all know pretty damn well what they ended up doing.

Before some of you point fingers, let me clarify that I am not doing this because people have backed out on my royalty payments. It does irk me very much that I have been advertising everything from body cleanser to diaper rash powder and I have been doing it pro bono... but thats okay. I am, truly, the bigger person here and I will not let such tiny eventualities get me down. What I will do is cleanse, purge and rid the city... to the best of my abilities mind you... of the heathen, the pagan, the corrupt, the diseased, the ghastly, the sick, the disturbed, the deranged, the fanatics, the lunatics, the perverts, the Hindus... I invite you... educated reader to keep your fingers crossed. Tonight, I intend to put on a grand display... you will see me in the form everywhere. You will see me in various sizes, various shapes, various hues... and I will be followed by the teeming millions that infect this city. They will believe me... they will believe that I am leaving them gladly... because I am... but I intend to take some of them with me. To the bottom of the ocean... and I intend to take them there in pain... screaming pain.

Tonight... Bombay will be my Hamelin!