Still haven't gotten used to this!

I'm guessing its going to be like learning to walk all over again but no matter how much I try to motivate myself, I just can't help but sink into this state of frustration and deep resentment towards Dad. And Ma too... to an extent. There are times when I don't understand this whole god business. How is it that I am able to be created so conveniently by scraping sandal paste of Ma but when my head gets lopped off, I have to live with being a half-elephant.

The first thing that I felt was this insane hunger... and the funny thing was the fact that I had this urge to go eat leaves. Can you believe that. This stupid head of mine has made me a vegetarian. Forget the taste of meat, I crave leaves and peanuts... its intensely annoying. Then there's the fact that I have already spent a small fortune on cotton buds. The immense confusion about being god continues. Sure I can live forever and ever but apparently, I can't keep my ears clean without having to literally shovel out the wax. Seeking a Johnson and Johnson endorsement deal of some sort. Any support will be appreciated...

The maidens don't give me the kind of attention anymore either. Although they have been hinting at the whole trunk being able to do a lot more than smell. Normally this would make me very glad but I don't want to live the rest of my life as a sex object... Note to self: get my brain checked, hanging around all these girls is making me one myself.

So tell you what... I am going to give in to temptation in every sense of the phrase. I am going to train my trunk, I am going to exercise and I am going to get these women believing in god like they have never done before. I mean hell, think about it... if the Catholics could get the whole Hail Mary thing down as a serious party game then I can surely use my trunk to spread the good word of religion especially to those who really seem very interested in all of it...

Time for a snack... have also developed a fascination for Skippy.